MY DIWALI AWARDS
The festive season has come to an end, and in the aftermath of the noise, smoke, smog, pollution and the resultant high BP and chest ailments I have decided to publicly honour the everlasting contribution made by our enlightened public. The Supreme Court said that there should be no noise at all in certain areas, and that the noise should be within permissible limits and upto 10PM only in residential areas. The Mumbai Police said that no crackers should be burst on roads, but only in open grounds. But . . .
i. The 1st prize therefore, ladies and gentlemen, goes to the parents who dared to be different, and who indicated to their darling offspring that IT’S OKAY TO BREAK THE LAW. The not-so-little darlings with unabashed enthusiasm let loose string bombs, atom bombs, rockets and what-not, littered the streets with paper residue, added noxious gases to the gas chamber called Mumbai – all under the appreciative glances of doting parents. And who cares about the time and place restrictions? Residential societies, hospitals and government colonies were united in this defiance of the law. And why not? After all, our founding fathers too broke the law, didn’t they? So, my first prize goes to the educated and enlightened parents – businessmen, doctors, lawyers, IAS officers, etc.
ii. My 2nd prize goes to the Mumbai Police for turning A BLIND EYE AND A DEAF EAR to the ear-splitting blasts all around. Oh yes, there are laws, rules and judgments, but aww c’mon, what the hell. This is celebration time, right? Like good humans they followed the lofty ideals of see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil. Why spoil the party, is their motto during Diwali.
iii. The 3rd prize goes to SIVAKASI FIRE WORKS. These good Samaritans supply the bulk of fireworks and firepower. What would Life be without such good souls? Never mind that they employ child labour; never mind that they make their labour work without protective gear; and just too bad that the labour is not insured. What are these minor inconveniences compared to the larger joy and happiness that they spread during festivals?
iv. The CONSOLATION PRIZE must go to the . . . Yes, you guessed it . . . to the doctors! This profession is the largest beneficiary of doting parents, a smiling police force and (fire)powerful Sivakasi Works. I read somewhere (but I’m sure it’s just a joke) that the Perchlorates in the crackers restrict the thyroid gland’s ability to take iodine from the bloodstream, causing hypothyroidism; the Smoke affects the lungs triggering asthma; Stronium impairs bone growth in children; Aluminium affects the brain and lungs, and could also lead to Alzheimer’s in some cases; the Copper in the crackers can cause severe skin disease; and Barium can cause vomiting, diarrhea, breathing trouble, numbness and general muscular weakness. Not to speak of deafness, high BP and other related problems. Now you know why the medical community has not issued any warnings at all!
Next year I am actually going to give a gold, a silver and a bronze – just as they do at the Olympics. All I am looking for are some sponsors!
The festive season has come to an end, and in the aftermath of the noise, smoke, smog, pollution and the resultant high BP and chest ailments I have decided to publicly honour the everlasting contribution made by our enlightened public. The Supreme Court said that there should be no noise at all in certain areas, and that the noise should be within permissible limits and upto 10PM only in residential areas. The Mumbai Police said that no crackers should be burst on roads, but only in open grounds. But . . .
i. The 1st prize therefore, ladies and gentlemen, goes to the parents who dared to be different, and who indicated to their darling offspring that IT’S OKAY TO BREAK THE LAW. The not-so-little darlings with unabashed enthusiasm let loose string bombs, atom bombs, rockets and what-not, littered the streets with paper residue, added noxious gases to the gas chamber called Mumbai – all under the appreciative glances of doting parents. And who cares about the time and place restrictions? Residential societies, hospitals and government colonies were united in this defiance of the law. And why not? After all, our founding fathers too broke the law, didn’t they? So, my first prize goes to the educated and enlightened parents – businessmen, doctors, lawyers, IAS officers, etc.
ii. My 2nd prize goes to the Mumbai Police for turning A BLIND EYE AND A DEAF EAR to the ear-splitting blasts all around. Oh yes, there are laws, rules and judgments, but aww c’mon, what the hell. This is celebration time, right? Like good humans they followed the lofty ideals of see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil. Why spoil the party, is their motto during Diwali.
iii. The 3rd prize goes to SIVAKASI FIRE WORKS. These good Samaritans supply the bulk of fireworks and firepower. What would Life be without such good souls? Never mind that they employ child labour; never mind that they make their labour work without protective gear; and just too bad that the labour is not insured. What are these minor inconveniences compared to the larger joy and happiness that they spread during festivals?
iv. The CONSOLATION PRIZE must go to the . . . Yes, you guessed it . . . to the doctors! This profession is the largest beneficiary of doting parents, a smiling police force and (fire)powerful Sivakasi Works. I read somewhere (but I’m sure it’s just a joke) that the Perchlorates in the crackers restrict the thyroid gland’s ability to take iodine from the bloodstream, causing hypothyroidism; the Smoke affects the lungs triggering asthma; Stronium impairs bone growth in children; Aluminium affects the brain and lungs, and could also lead to Alzheimer’s in some cases; the Copper in the crackers can cause severe skin disease; and Barium can cause vomiting, diarrhea, breathing trouble, numbness and general muscular weakness. Not to speak of deafness, high BP and other related problems. Now you know why the medical community has not issued any warnings at all!
Next year I am actually going to give a gold, a silver and a bronze – just as they do at the Olympics. All I am looking for are some sponsors!
