Sunday, March 17, 2013

THE BIG "THENGA"

17th March 2013
I like the word “thenga”. It is neither Hindi not Bengali nor Gujarati nor Marathi. Its pure Hindustani. It is understood by one and all. It rolls off from the tongue easily, fluidly and without any pretence. Above all, it conveys volumes without being offensive or abusive. In gentler Victorian times it was called Cocking a Snook, but in these days of fast food the English realized it was too time consuming for comfort, and they shortened it to “Sod Off”; the Aussies in their gruffness called it “Bugger off, Mate”. The average American – mentally, verbally and phoenetically challenged – simply reduced it to the Middle Finger sign, with the more articulate of the lot adding “Up Yours”. I also like the word Thenga because it sort of rhymes with Tango. They say it takes two to tango; but one can Thenga the whole world.
You could do a Thenga, and usually get away with it. As the Italians recently did to us. The Marines shot dead a few Kerala fishermen, went temporarily to jail, and then on a Supreme Court sanctioned holiday to the home country with a promise to return to do time. They broke their promise, and bolted permanently – and did a big Thenga to the Indian government. Harish Salve who pleaded the Italians’ case so effectively got egg in the face – sorry, Thenga. The Supreme Court? I don’t know, but I’d rather not be Thenga’ad by them. Now it transpires that the French did a Thenga to us in 1998 when they did a bolt after being arrested for spying off the Kerala coast. Pakistan Thenga’as us all the time.
Come to think of it – everyone Thenga’as everyone in this country. The public do it to the cops all the time by breaking every law. The Bombay Municipal Corp did the Thenga to the Supreme Court re: the hawkers issue. The Supreme Court recently ordered that there was a surfeit of Laal Battis, and ordered a crackdown. What happened? Ya guessed it mate!!! They were shown the big Thenga by cops, ministers, and every junior civil servant trying to act big. The SC also said “Off with tinted glasses”. Response? One hellava big Thenga.
Now, re: the Italian Thenga, our beloved and angry PM said he would take very strict action (Heh, heh, heh). My good friend Babubhai’s very good friend Popatlal remarked tongue-in-cheek, that the Cabinet has ordered banning pastas and pizzas in restaurants as a swift reprisal. That would bring the Italians to their knees! he said. He also said, seriously, I must add, that it was time our national emblem was changed to the Thenga. Worth considering, I muttered, only half tongue-in-cheek.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

MY DIWALI AWARDS

                                                           MY DIWALI AWARDS


The festive season has come to an end, and in the aftermath of the noise, smoke, smog, pollution and the resultant high BP and chest ailments I have decided to publicly honour the everlasting contribution made by our enlightened public. The Supreme Court said that there should be no noise at all in certain areas, and that the noise should be within permissible limits and upto 10PM only in residential areas. The Mumbai Police said that no crackers should be burst on roads, but only in open grounds. But . . .
i. The 1st prize therefore, ladies and gentlemen, goes to the parents who dared to be different, and who indicated to their darling offspring that IT’S OKAY TO BREAK THE LAW. The not-so-little darlings with unabashed enthusiasm let loose string bombs, atom bombs, rockets and what-not, littered the streets with paper residue, added noxious gases to the gas chamber called Mumbai – all under the appreciative glances of doting parents. And who cares about the time and place restrictions? Residential societies, hospitals and government colonies were united in this defiance of the law. And why not? After all, our founding fathers too broke the law, didn’t they? So, my first prize goes to the educated and enlightened parents – businessmen, doctors, lawyers, IAS officers, etc.

ii. My 2nd prize goes to the Mumbai Police for turning A BLIND EYE AND A DEAF EAR to the ear-splitting blasts all around. Oh yes, there are laws, rules and judgments, but aww c’mon, what the hell. This is celebration time, right? Like good humans they followed the lofty ideals of see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil. Why spoil the party, is their motto during Diwali.

iii. The 3rd prize goes to SIVAKASI FIRE WORKS. These good Samaritans supply the bulk of fireworks and firepower. What would Life be without such good souls? Never mind that they employ child labour; never mind that they make their labour work without protective gear; and just too bad that the labour is not insured. What are these minor inconveniences compared to the larger joy and happiness that they spread during festivals?

iv. The CONSOLATION PRIZE must go to the . . . Yes, you guessed it . . . to the doctors! This profession is the largest beneficiary of doting parents, a smiling police force and (fire)powerful Sivakasi Works. I read somewhere (but I’m sure it’s just a joke) that the Perchlorates in the crackers restrict the thyroid gland’s ability to take iodine from the bloodstream, causing hypothyroidism; the Smoke affects the lungs triggering asthma; Stronium impairs bone growth in children; Aluminium affects the brain and lungs, and could also lead to Alzheimer’s in some cases; the Copper in the crackers can cause severe skin disease; and Barium can cause vomiting, diarrhea, breathing trouble, numbness and general muscular weakness. Not to speak of deafness, high BP and other related problems. Now you know why the medical community has not issued any warnings at all!

Next year I am actually going to give a gold, a silver and a bronze – just as they do at the Olympics. All I am looking for are some sponsors!



Tuesday, September 4, 2012

FIRE, FIRE BURNING BRIGHT


Every evening at 9 when I sit to watch the news I am filled with a sense of outrage; and like a glutton gone insane I continue to watch the news, and continue to feel outraged. What perplexes me more than the shamelessness of our ruling elite is the complacency of the educated elite. Yes, in the Indian context we are the educated elite – anyone who has done his schooling automatically falls into this category where the dividing line between the haves and the have nots (in education) is clearly defined. And those of these millions who have access to computers – and by logical extension – to the Net, FB and Twitter (like us) fall into the class of the super-educated elite.
So why am I filled with angst? Yes, I am. Because we have chosen to close our eyes and shut our ears to what is happening around us. Because my Inbox is full of chain letters and chain jokes – none of them original – interrupted by the outbursts of a few fellow-outraged concerned citizens who send me Pritish Nandy’s comments on the state of the nation.  
And what IS the state of the nation? Scams of immeasurable gigantic gargantuan proportions, Coalgate, Karnataka MLAs on a study tour, farmers suicides, reservations in promotions, economic paralysis . . . Can someone please add to this list? And add to the debate? Any silver lining? Yes, mercifully so, even though fleeting and like a mirage – the Indian Army, the higher judiciary, Narayan Murthy, Abdul Kalam, Ratan Tata, Aamir Khan, and a handful of committed civil servants who are plodding on despite all odds to take the country, huffing and puffing, to the goal post.
And what about us, the vast majority who are content to send chain letters and chain jokes, and upload pictures of our holiday abroad with baba log in tow? Ever heard of Nero, the guy who fiddled while Rome burnt? Well, he is immortal, and we Indians have immortalized him.
Sorry, friends, for this public display of angst – but I just could not take it after seeing Arnav Goswami in action today. Please add fuel to this little spark, and set off a conflagration of vocal resistance that will change our anthem from Chalta Hai to Nahin Chalega.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

NORTH-EAST: Music gone sour



Did it require an exodus of 10,000 plus from Bangalore to highlight the problems of the North East? Did it require the beating up of a group of N.E. students in Poona to merit a discussion on TV? Did it require the escape of 6,000 from Hyderabad to tell us that there is a region in the north east that is part of India, and that its citizens are Indians too? And did it require an orgy of violence on Sunday in Bombay to drive home the point just how badly we have consistently neglected our north eastern states? Were we bothered about the north east when the region was reeling under a 100-day blockade that drove the price of petrol to Rs. 200/- a litre, and the price of a gas cylinder to Rs. 2,000/-. And this was just last year! Are these citizens discriminated against? Yes, hopelessly so. The answer indeed is a sad YES.
Those from the North East who live and work in ‘mainstream’ India have to bear the taunts of Chinky Chinky Chinese. None occupies a pride of place in industry; none is a prominent lawyer; none, a prominent CA. And with the sole exception of Panjor on CNN-IBN there is none from N.E. India on national TV. (By contrast, the BBC has newsreaders from almost every ethnic group). India Tourism has almost completely ignored this beautiful region from its adverts. Even our dear ManMohan Singh seems to have forgotten that he became PM from Assam!
The only Indians who know just how gentle, and how talented, these people are, are those in government – either in the civil services or the armed forces. Truly deplorable that it needed violence, and Mary Kom, to tell us ‘mainstream’ Indians that there is a very beautiful region with very beautiful people in the North East – and that they are Indians.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

VIGNETTES OF TURKEY - TONGUE-IN-CHEEK



Vignettes of Turkey – Tongue-in-cheek

I landed in Bombay in the early hours of an October morning last year, back home from a 16-day 3,500-km long tour of the Western half of Turkey. I came back suffering acutely from culture-shock, and relieved that I was an Indian. Let me explain.

On landing in Istanbul I was struck by the absolute – not relative, but absolute – cleanliness on the streets. Not a piece of litter, not a scrap of paper, and certainly no pan-stains. And this was not just on the broad spaces and wide roads outside the airport, but right upto the Sultanahmet district where I was put up. My shock worsened when I saw the same fetish for cleanliness as I rode through the small towns of Turkey – Kanakalle, Kusadasi, Marmaris, Fetheye . . . Strange, I thought, these guys don’t seem to have anything to do but to keep their surroundings clean!

Next, the silence – long spells of eerie, nerve-wracking silence. No honking on the streets, and if there was someone in the way a very gentle toot sufficed. Even ordinary conversation seemed muted. Yes, the vendors in the Spice Market and the Grand Bazaar of Istanbul did shout, but almost apologetically so.

And then the historical monuments – the amphitheatre, the temples - beautifully preserved and painstakingly restored from centuries B.C. All without a Rajesh etching in stone for posterity his immortal love for a Smita.

All this left me a nervous wreck! I just could not take in the restraint and the restrictions!

And then I pondered. How lucky was I to be in free, democratic India – where I can exercise my fundamental right of freedom of expression. Freedom to litter, freedom to spit, even to piss where I pleased. Freedom to shout and swear and scream, and to make money through corrupt practices.

And the taxi driver who drove me home from the airport yesterday morning epitomised that freedom. I saw his spirits soar as he broke every traffic rule, ran through every traffic light, swore as his taxi ran into potholes left by the BMC as if to remind us of Their existence, left his signature of pan-masala spittle on the road, and honked furiously at invisible pedestrians in his way. And as I inhaled in lungfuls the lovely, sweet stench of Mahim Creek and saw the mountains of garbage all around, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I was home.









Sunday, August 12, 2012

ASSAM VIOLENCE IN SOUTH BOMBAY


I am agitated, and I must write this. I sensed that trouble was brewing as I drove to my office yesterday at about 2 in the afternoon. As I passed Churchgate station I saw several young men in groups of 4 to 7 walking purposefully towards New Marine Lines. What set this group apart was that they were wearing caps proclaiming their religious identity. This was distinctly odd in Churchgate, I thought to myself, where nobody really bothers about your ethnic, religious or linguistic background. Their body language and gestures as they talked told me that these fellows were in no way going for a peaceful prayer meeting. Little did I realize that they were on their way to Azad Maidan for their cocktail of arson and mayhem.  

This morning as I read the newspapers I was shocked and appalled at the senseless rioting that claimed 2 lives and crores in property-damage. The reason? These guys were protesting the killing of Muslims in Assam and Myanmar (Burma). The organisers? According to the TOI a dozen Sunni Muslim organisations, prominent among them being the Raza Academy.

I got nowhere in my quest to find some logic and reason behind this violence. In fact, I was flooded with more questions than answers that came from all corners of my mind. Why Myanmar, for instance? Why not Syria where Syria’s president Bashar al-Assad is trying to crush a 17-month old revolt against his rule, in which more than 18,000 people have been reportedly killed? Why no protests against the 846 killed in Egypt’s revolution? And why no protests against Tunisia where as many as 300 people have been killed and 700 injured during the month-long uprising in early 2011? And pray, why not against Libya where about 50,000 people were killed since the start of the uprising, according to Dawn of Pakistan? And why not against Pakistan where bombing Shias and Ahmedias has become a state-sanctioned pastime? Why were no protest marches launched against the embassies of these countries, particularly against Pakistan? Is it the contention of the Raza Academy that it’s OK for Muslims to kill Muslims?
And why no sympathy (this is the least that I expect) for the 250 Hindus seeking asylum in India following reports of forcible conversions? Are these guys trying to create a communal wedge, this time in Bombay? This was the one thought that came to me in the utter confusion following yesterday’s madness in my backyard.

The only voice of reason (Where are the others? Why are they silent?) that I read was that of Maulana Wahiduddin Khan in Mumbai Mirror. “A large number of Bengali Muslims migrated from Bangladesh and settled in the area. It is strange how the government failed to check this illegal migration. . . It is the Muslim tendency to maintain their cultural identity wherever they settle. I think this is not a correct practice. They do this in every country”, said he. These Raza guys will undoubtedly brand him a traitor. Instead of burning public property in Bombay, these guys would do well to go to the jungles of Assam and try to alleviate the suffering of their co-religionists. And never mind if they ignore the original locals who are equally affected, if not more. At least someone will be given succour.

If only the Raza Academy had sent sms’s to protest against corruption and other social ills and gathered in thousands as they did yesterday, they would have been part of the mainstream and of the nation-building process. Alas!

As for the police who were roundly thrashed by these miscreants, they have their images on camera – of a few of them at least. Why not chuck them into jail along with the ringleaders of this Academy and throw away the key? But I know this won’t happen. 2014 is not very far away.




Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Red Light syndrome

I was a little disappointed, and a little sad, at reading the small pocket news item a few days ago in the Bombay edition of the DNA. It concerned the penalty of Rs. 3.75 lakhs slapped on Subodh Kumar, the previous Municipal Commissioner of the BMC by his successor and the present MC – for using a red light car 3 months after he retired. Mr. Kumar IAS was apparently an officer of high integrity, a quality that is in shorter supply than clean air in Bombay. Builders hated him, and tried their best to ease him out of that post. They could not because he had the full support of the CM himself. That itself is a sure indication that the man was incorruptible. And then he threw it all away by doing something absolutely silly! He got someone to give him a car with a beacon, 3 months into his retirement.

This is what bothers me. As a probationer at the Mussoorie Academy I looked upon with amazement and awe at the sight of the DC of Dehra Dun travelling in an entourage of 8 white Ambassadors, red lights flashing even at two in the afternoon. We who were strolling on the Mall were ushered to one side to see the Great Momo zip past us. The colonial masters left in 1947, only to be replaced by desi masters of a poorer quality. Subodh Kumar unfortunately, though of impeccable integrity as widely reported, did not forget similar incidents that he must have experienced in his long career in the IAS.

But why blame the babus alone for this? Some 20 years ago I was in HQ when we had appointed someone who is now a well-respected Senior Advocate in his early seventies to argue our case at the High Court. His condition: he must be driven to the High Court and back in the official car with the beacon flashing. At the behest of the Chief Commissioner I invited this advocate to have tea with the CC. When the CC called me to his room it was in time to see this advocate finish his tea and tell the CC fawningly with an embarrassingly false smile what a privilege it was to argue for the Government, and yes he would bill us the taxi fare!

A few years later I had a similar experience when I invited an HRD expert with a leading confectionary company to address our officers at the Training Division at Mahalaxmi. “Of course, you will send me the office car, wont you?” I sent him the diesel Matador van that should have been junked decades earlier. That was the last this expert and I saw of each other.

When I was posted at Ahmedabad a college friend who was settled there since long had a strange request to make. Could I join him and his family for ghar ka khana on a week day, he said with emphasis and finality? Sure, I said, would be delighted. “But just a small request please, if it’s not too much of a bother. Could you come in your office car, the one with the red light? And could you please pick me up from my office so that we could go together?” As we neared his house in a society at Satellite there was one more request. “Could you please ask the driver to switch on the siren?” Disappointment was writ large on my friend’s face when I told him that my car did not have a siren. The following day he called and in a state of excitement thanked me profusely. His stock had shot up by leaps and bounds in his housing society that evening!

So, I guess we all like our Red Light Areas.

VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE IN INDIA

Just what is the value of a human life in India? I seethe with silent helpless rage when I see on the news channels that a young newly born's life is snuffed out in Jallandhar. Why? Because the parents could not pay Rs. 200/- to the hospital to keep the baby on the incubator! The CM's reaction on TV? "Aise haadse toh hote rehte hain"! Incredible! Reminds one of R.R. Patil's famous line after 26/11 "Chhote mote banaav hote rehta hain".

A young under-aged spoilt brat slams at 80 kmph his father's Honda into an elderly Mr Maroo on his morning walk, hits a couple of policemen and rams into two taxies. What happens? He is out on bail - for Rs. 15,000/-. That's what Mr Maroo, an industrialist in Bombay, is worth.

And what about the families of our soldiers who died fighting the enemy - both within and on our borders? Has the government, or we, spared them a thought?

And the value of those who are victims of hit-and-run incidents, and those caught in the cross-fire of riots, and those who die of jaundice and dengue and malaria only because the municipalities cannot enforce cleanliness and hygiene? Ha ha, you guessed it. Rs. 0.00.

Are we living in a civilised society of Manoj Kumar's Mere Desh ki Dharti sona ugle ugle heere moti, or Naipaul's Area of Darkness?! I'd like to ask just one question to our freedom fighters? Can you honestly look into the mirror today, in 21st century India, and say "Our fight was worth it"?

Yes, friends, I am in a state of depression right now - but I know I will bounce back, because "Aise haadse toh hote rehte hain". In the meantime the words MERA BHARAT MAHAAN seem to be a very cruel joke.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Thomas Hobbes’ LEVIATHAN – early 17th century



Watching the 9 o clock news almost always leaves me depressed. I am convinced it is not for the faint-hearted. And I wish there was a channel only for good news – news without uncaring DGPs, news without war, news without child torture, news without death by violence. But I know equally well that there will be few sponsors for a channel like that, so I, for one, am stuck with depression. To come back to tonight’s news. The focus was on sheer lawlessness; a breakdown of law and order; indeed, a breakdown of basic governance. Let’s begin with Assam. The news of the molestation is as suddenly blanked out as it had appeared, the only lingering image being of the DGP who was casual, almost uncaring, in his responses to the news channels. The DGP of Bihar was no better. The only vestige of respectability was that he was not chewing paan with spittle trickling down one corner of the lips. He seemed least bothered that Pritam, a young lad of 25, was mercilessly hunted down by goons in broad daylight at a railway station after he complained to the cops about the theft of documents. Pritam’s father heaped the ultimate insult on the DGP within the limits of decency when he said pitifully, What can you expect when the highest police official tells lies! In Sitapur, UP, a DSP uncovers the face of a dead victim with his shoe, and is absolutely unrepentant when the news channels spoke to him. Worse, the CM of UP parried questions with a toothy smile. If the phrase ‘Heaping insult on injury’ was to be played out, it deserved an Oscar tonight. And what about Haryana – an HRD executive, legs broken so that he could not run, and set ablaze so decisively and viciously that he could be identified only by his teeth. The CM pretends to be helpless. Welcome, folks, to Jungle Raj!

In the early 17th century Thomas Hobbes wrote his epic on political science – Leviathan. Hobbes postulated what life would be like without government, a state of nature, as he called it. In that state, each person would have a right, or license, to everything in the world, and to do anything that he pleased. Without government life would be “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short”.

We are heading towards that state.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Public Life - City Polls 2012

Is Bombay beyond redemption? Looking at the number of PILs filed against the BMC in the Bombay High Court it would certainly seem so. Dirty drinking water, illegal constructions, indiscriminate digging up of roads, mangrove hacking, traffic nightmares – you name it, the Bombay High Court is seized of the matter.

What is going wrong in the BMC?

We know the answers. No, let us not use polite terms. It’s high time we called a spade a spade. Pure and simple, Bombay has buckled under its own weight of greed, pelf, sloth and corruption. We are governed by people who would not get employed as daily-wage workers in the BMC. In perfect co-ordination our elected representatives and the BMC officials have collectively destroyed the city. Take a look at the performance of our beloved glorious municipal councillors in just “A” Ward:

Name Attendance Questions Asked Money Spent

Geeta Kanojia 132/175 8 Rs. 98,92,171/-
Vijaya Dhulla 147/208 2 Rs. 95,80,775/-
Vinod Shekhar 192/273 111 Rs. 91,27,221/-
Prema VSingh 171/186 0 Rs. 1,00,46,153/-

Only Vinod Shekhar out of the above is a graduate, has asked the most questions, and spent the least (on what, is another issue). The others have barely scraped through SSC. Take a look at the money spent by them on civic amenities, education and health – and ask yourself “Where has this money gone”? Your first guess will be the right answer. These figures have been taken from praja.org. Visit this site. It will be a revelation. The story is similar in other Wards as well.

Is there a solution? Yes there is. I read an interesting article in this Sunday’s (Feb 27) Hindustan Times, titled “How citizens can get ready for 2012 city polls”. It has convinced me there is some hope for us yet. The author, Vaibhav Purandare, tells us how. There are about 124 constituencies in the city, including reserved constituencies. Each constituency has on an average 40,000 eligible voters. Fifty per cent of these voters do not vote (That they are the most vocal critiques of the administration is another thing). That leaves us with 20,000 votes. Get just around 7000 votes, and you become a councillor.

So, why am I mentioning these stats?

It’s time we took matters in our hands. Enough is really enough. We must identify a few persons in our localities who are concerned about the all-pervading rot, persuade them to stand as candidates, back them, and spread the word. Bombay has the largest and the finest pool of entrepreneurs and managers. The ideal candidate in my view is one in his 60s, educated (naturally), retired, preferably with corporate experience or a professional or an academician, one who still has a fire in his belly and a desire to utilise his time in a fruitful, constructive and goal-oriented manner.

Once upon a time not very long ago our city guardians were those venerable Parsi gentlemen whose statues adorn the Flora Fountain, Metro and Gowalia Tank areas. They made Bombay what it was by showing the way. We too can, and we must.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Godse's Last Speech

A friend mailed me Godse’s last speech. I made a Google search, and sure enough, the speech was there. I have read it with great interest – an interest borne out of curiosity alone - because I tried to fathom from Godse’s address whether there was any rational basis for his hatred for Gandhi. I must confess I got nowhere.

What was the freedom and the “just interests” of some thirty crore Hindus that Godse was trying to safeguard that were not already there? From the little that I have read of India’s economic history the Hindus were clearly more prosperous and better educated than the Muslims. Where (meaning in what journal or speech) did Gandhi dub Ram, Krishna and Arjun as “guilty” of violence? Similarly, where did Gandhi condemn Shivaji, Rana Pratap and Guru Gobind Singh as misguided patriots?

I really would like to know this from an academic perspective because we need to get our history right; not just a biased view trotted out for decades, but a detached vision of what happened.

I seriously doubt if Gandhi considered himself “infallible”. Time and again he swayed from one point of view to another depending upon the circumstances and the reasons put forward by the protagonists. In fact, Gandhi himself was quick to admit that he was wrong when another better point of view was put across. One could at times call Gandhi wishy-washy, but infallible? I seriously doubt that. On the contrary, Godse established his own twisted sense of “infallibility” by doing the ultimate act of a person who thinks he can never be wrong – he simply shot the person he disagreed with.

By grudgingly admitting that “Either Congress had to
surrender its will to his and had to be content with playing second
fiddle to all his eccentricity, whimsicality, metaphysics and
primitive vision, or it had to carry on without him”, Godse acknowledges Gandhi’s towering leadership. Need one say more? And what kind of a leader is one who does not show the way? Gandhi did, and millions followed. Not many takers for Godse’s thoughts, I must add.

Godse’s diatribe against Hindustani is again as irrational as his dislike for Gandhi. Indeed, the way a language is spoken undergoes a change every few kilometres. The Tamil spoken in Madras is different from the Tamil spoken in Sri Lanka. The same with Arabic spoken in Morocco and in Dubai. The Marathi spoken is Poona is different from what is spoken in Nagpur and Bombay. And English is not the same in England, the US, Canada and Australia. Every language is influenced by a local colour. So what really is Godse’s problem with Hindustani, which is a mix of Urdu and Hindi? Urdu is a mish-mash of Persian-Arabic and Hindi. Hindi itself is far removed from its ancestor Sanskrit. So what really is Godse’s objection? That Gandhi was a communicator par excellence? Besides, do we ourselves talk any pure language today? And what would he have said to the fact that we are communicating today in English! A big question-mark on Godse’s beliefs.

Just about the only thing that I can agree with Godse is when he says that Gandhi “was the master brain guiding the civil disobedience movement; no other could know the technique of that movement. He alone knew when to begin and when to withdraw it”. Now, I cannot make out from his defence speech what Godse had against the civil disobedience movement. Did Godse and Co. have any means to wrench independence by violent means? Did he even try to secure independence, like Bhagat Singh, Bose, and the others did? Hollow beliefs, I must say. But he had the courage to rain bullets on the one person he knew would ‘turn the other cheek’ and not retaliate. Bravo, Mr. Godse! What an act of courage!

The civil disobedience movement was unique in history. It attained its objective with the minimum loss of lives and property. It was successfully implemented by Mandela and to a great extent by Martin Luther King.

Now let us look at the flip side. Other colonies attained independence too, through violence – Algeria and Viet Nam from the French, Congo from Belgium, Angola from Portugal, etc. The cost? Enormous, both in terms of lives and material. Can one give any example of any freedom fighter from these countries being accorded a welcome by cheering crowds in the colonial country PRIOR to independence? Gandhi was welcomed so in England, particularly in Liverpool – not by the few Indians residing there but by hordes of Englishmen. Was Godse envious of Gandhi’s steamrolling popularity? Maybe, maybe not. England, I believe, is India’s biggest trading partner. Wonder what Godse would have had to say about that!

It has become fashionable to run down Gandhi. Not surprising, for as an icon he towered far above the rest despite his five-foot nothing frame, and to bring down an icon gives us great satisfaction.

Mr. Khosla’s observations that an open trial would have fetched the judgment of “Not Guilty” is neither here nor there. Not Guilty of what? I simply cannot understand how Mr. Khosla says so. Godse shot Gandhi in broad daylight in a public prayer meeting, and the assassination was witnessed by the scores of people present. Above all and most important, Godse – like Pravin Mahajan in recent times - made no attempt to shirk off his act. Godse stood his ground instead of running away. He is reported to have said, “No one should think that Gandhi was killed by a madman”. Godse was not a common criminal, but a highly motivated individual who did what he did for his beliefs, parochial and skewed as they may have been. In fact, it brings the judge Mr. Khosla to disrepute for not having had the moral courage to hold Godse “Not Guilty” at the time, if he thought so.

As for Godse, he will forever enjoy the same status as John Wilkes Booth – the assassin of Abraham Lincoln – did: as a footnote in history.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I love S.M. Krishna

I have always loved comedians. For a brief fleeting moment they take us away from the mundane to the fanciful, and give us a reason to smile. Amar Singh brightened up my life two days ago when he, in a classic slapstick situation that would have turned P.G. Wodehouse green with envy, dropped his trousers in full view of the cameras. The cameraman, not wanting to miss this God-sent opportunity, struggled to focus not-too-successfully on THE spot.

But, as I said some time back, We are not alone. I loved Ronald Reagan. That he was a professional actor before he plunged into politics was a great help. Look how he went to Argentina and, at an official banquet held in his honour, profusely and effortlessly thanked the President of Chile for having invited him to his wonderful country!

Another Ronald - Ronald Rusmsfeld, the American Secy of Defence - had us in splits when he said "Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don't know we don't know.” Lovely American defence strategy, that was.

I also loved Sen Ted Stevens of Alaska. Try to decipher this: "They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material."

But my all-time favourite comedian is George W. Bush Jr. Listen to this excuse to invade Iraq: "I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas."

And now, we have our very own S.M. Krishna who joined the immortals by reading out the speech of his Portuguese counterpart at the UN Security Council. I mean, we always knew that these guys would grab anything of value; but to grab someone else’s speech – that surely is a first. Who said politicians are dull fellows!

Friday, April 16, 2010

CITIZENS FOR A BETTER MUMBAI

We are all craving for a better quality of life in Mumbai. Politicians have been promising us a Shanghai and a Singapore . It has not materialized. Indeed, many of us would say that things have got worse. We have discussed this, wrung our hands in despair, and waited endlessly for a noticeable improvement in our surroundings.

But the garbage continues to pile up, the traffic continues to be chaotic, the elderly and the infirm have no footpaths to walk on, there is no sign of the Rs. 25 lakhs each of our Corporators get per annum to spend on amenities. . . . the list is endless. All this despite paying high taxes to the civic body. The property tax whammy is just round the corner, make no mistake about this!

Conditions will not change - UNLESS we, the tax-paying citizens, sit up and DEMAND a better life. There are many problem areas. But these need to be addressed one after another, in a focused manner, and in unison. And we shall do so.

A few of us have therefore got together under a common banner called CITIZENS FOR A BETTER MUMBAI (CBM) to induce the BMC through the Right To Information (RTI) route to make life easier for us. For this, we need your active support and encouragement.

To begin with – we shall be taking up other common issues in Mumbai in quick succession - we have decided to focus on pedestrian (Zebra) crossings on Shahid Bhagat Singh Marg (from GPO to Sassoon Docks to Navy Nagar) by making mass applications under the Right To Information (RTI) Act to the “A” Ward Officer. Attached is a copy of the same. Please download it and fill in the appropriate blanks. Please support this move. Citizens’ voice is the only way to make life better in Mumbai. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live on S.B.S. Marg; I don’t. We shall shortly be taking up common issues all over the city. All we ask you to do is to open the attachment and

i. fill in DUPLICATE (one copy is for you) your name, address and signature
ii. Affix a Rs. 10/- Court Fee stamp (available at any Court)
iii. File it at the “A” Ward BMC office near RBI, Ballard Estate.

You could also send it duly filled and signed at my residence at 301 Shivala, Khatau Road , Cuffe Parade, Mumbai 400005, or at my office at 302 Marine Chambers, Opp SNDT University , 43 New Marine Lines, Mumbai 400020.

We only ask for your support and an application with a Rs. 10/- Court Fee stamp. Let’s make our life better. Together we can. We must.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Islam and World Freedom - A Dutch perspective

I was forwarded recently a speech made by Mr. Geert Wilders, a Dutch Member of Parliament, at the Four Seasons in New York. The speech was rabidly anti-Islamic, and the forward roundly castigated him. Is the liberal West turning insular?
I felt that the contents of his speech, though sweeping, were perhaps not entirely unjustified.

I think what has triggered off this xenophobia in the West is as much a cultural issue as a religious one. We in India are less severe in our attitudes because we have always lived in a multi-religious and multi-cultural environment, though not always in harmony. Burqas and minarets by themselves do not upset us – barring the RSS and their ilk - because these have been a part of our existence since the days of the Khiljis and the Tughlaks. But Europe is a different world altogether. They do not wear Christianity on their sleeve, and are bound to feel swamped under by a cultural-religious influx. Within the last two months Switzerland registered a 65% protest against mosques and minarets, and Sarkozy has banned burquas and veils in public. This goes for the Sikh turban also.

And that is my point. While in Rome do as the Romans do. Integration is the key. Stand out like a sore thumb and one should expect some criticism. Wave the sore thumb in your face and you will have scores of Geert Wilders coming up to protest. The Gujaratis got the boot from East Africa because they refused to integrate with the black majority, preferring to create their own Gujarati neighbourhoods. So did the English in India with their unique cantonments and No Indians Allowed attitude.
This brings me to a larger issue.

If those following the Islamic faith expect full religious freedom including the right to dress according to their interpretation of the tenets of Islam, should others not expect the same from the Middle Eastern countries?
I have not known of churches or temples in these countries, nor have I known of Christmas or Easter being declared holidays. Iraq, Lebanon and just maybe Turkey, are exceptions. But they too make concessions only for Christianity. What is significant is that the religious minorities in Dubai, etc do not demand these privileges because the pain of punishment is far greater. To this extent I would compliment the Europeans and the Americans for assuring us our freedom to practise our own religion. But if what Wilders says - that one-third of the French Muslims do not object to suicide attacks – is true, then it is time to sit up and take notice.

Stereotyping? Perhaps. But closer home, I feel the solution lies mainly with our Muslim friends. Yes, my friends do not like this religious rigidity, BUT they are unwilling to protest. A few months ago a religious group issued a fatwa against singing the Vande Mataram. It triggered off a furious debate on TV, but only people like Farooq Abdullah and Salman Khurshid protested against this fatwa. They protested intelligently by quoting chapter and verse of the Koran. But the overwhelming majority of the Muslim community remained silent. Yes, they may not like the rigidity of the mullahs, but they will not protest. I have not seen a single e-mail or a debate on this issue. So, the mullahs rule, and continue to control the minds of an overwhelming part of a large but silent community. Silence is soon translated into acceptance, and acceptance to intolerance. In contrast, the Hindu majority stoutly rejected the divisive dharma of the BJP, spoke up against the Babri Masjid demolition and firmly voted the Congress to power.

Next, in my view, the largest religious minority must actively participate in the nation-building process instead of carrying a perennial chip on their shoulder. Coming from a Services background I am appalled at their low levels of entry into the IAS, IPS, and the armed forces. People like former Police Commissioner Hasan Gafoor are the rarest of the rare exceptions.

To come back to Geert Wilders, the most significant sentence is his speech is “They (the settlors) do not come to integrate into our society; they come to integrate our society into their Dar-al-Islam”. I would love to hear a storm of intellectual protest against each point made by Wilders, and a louder protest against the fatwa issuing followers - not of Islam, but of the Taliban.

This is just my personal opinion, and I hope it is borne in reason.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Mumbai's Traffic Nightmare

14th March 2010.

Dear Kishore and friends,

Thank you very much for sending me various updates on Traffic Meetings and the like. I also thank you for publicizing Adv Armin Vandrewala’s efforts for better traffic management through a PIL. I was very keen to attend the meeting organized jointly by the NPCCA, OCRA and the 3rd and 4th Pasta Lane Support Group, particularly as it was being addressed by Mr Barve, a fairly senior IPS Officer. However, I was quite disappointed on reading the report of the meeting in the DNA of 11th March.

According to the DNA report, JCP Traffic, Mr Barve, attributed the chaotic traffic situation to the poor design of roads, lack of education of signs, and the indiscipline amongst the motorists. He further said “Enforcement is the last of the 3important factors for good traffic management. Unfortunately, it is at the top.”
Now I just don’t understand this, Mr Barve. If the roads were perfect, if the people were fully aware of the signs and if the motorists were disciplined, do we really need you at all?!! It is because of these shortcomings that you are there – so we would really like it if the Traffic police did their job instead of passing the bureaucratic buck!

We do appreciate the efforts of the Traffic police to curb drunken driving. However, we expect more from the Police, not shallow reasons for inaction.
I understand that Armin Vandrewala’s PIL is the outcome of motorists halting ON the zebra crossing. Why can this not be stopped by the Traffic cops even when they are posted there? A classic case of chaos is the Churchgate-Eros junction in the morning and evening hours. Motorists halt ON the zebra crossing, the pedestrians walk at will, the honking reaches deafening levels – and the cops turn a deaf ear and blind eye to these obvious violations. We do realize and understand that police are short-staffed and overworked, but surely that is no reason to abdicate duty and responsibility!

That brings me to the next point – Jaywalking. I believe there are laws against jaywalking. But do the traffic police enforce them? No, Sir, hardly ever. A 4-lane road from Eros to Churchgate station becomes a 2-lane path only because pedestrians walk on the roads instead of using the subway. Ditto at Metro cinema junction. The road from Eros to LIC building has wide footpaths without encroachments. Yet pedestrians walk on the road instead of using the broad footpaths built for them. The traffic police are again oblivious to this! We do have good, broad roads in South Bombay with wide footpaths from the British era. Perhaps the traffic police have not noticed this. Let them maintain at least this patch!

What is very unfortunate is that Adv Vandrewala’s PIL has had no effect on the traffic police at all. I wonder if Mr Barve would trot out these excuses before the High Court when the PIL comes up for hearing. On reading the DNA report I was also disappointed that Sudhir Badami and Nitin Dossa were not given adequate time to make their points. I am sure they would have had something more positive and constructive to say about the traffic nightmare than the reported ‘reasons’ given by Mr Barve.

Yours sincerely,
Deepak Tralshawala

Friday, February 26, 2010

Thank you, Rajdeep Sardesai

21st Feb 2010.

Dear Mr Shiv Sainik,

I trust you have read Rajdeep Sardesai’s open letter to Mr Uddhav Thakeray doing the rounds on the internet. Frankly, for two reasons I won’t be surprised if you haven’t. One, it is in English. And two, it is extremely well-written and very thought–provoking. If you haven’t read it I suggest you ask your children to translate it for you. Like the offspring of most Shiv Sainiks I presume yours too are studying in the most elitist of convent schools.

But first, let me introduce myself.

I am just a Stupid Common Man. Have you seen the film ‘A Wednesday’? You must, even though it is in Hindi. Nasiruddin Shah’s soliloquy at the end of the film where he spits out his pent-up anger against the system and all politicians will make your hair stand on end. He calls himself just a Stupid Common Man. That’s what I am too, as are the faceless thousands and thousands of us in this city. And like the Stupid Common Man, we are a very angry lot today; angry at your silly and immature antics, and angry at the city being held to ransom by your aging leader and his coterie of Yes Men.

I have tried to understand what your core values are, but I am stumped! Let me spell out why.

Your agitation against Shah Rukh Khan, Rahul Gandhi, Mukesh Ambani and Sachin Tendulkar turned out to be as riveting as a deflating balloon. Nobody paid heed to your leader’s call, least of all we Bombay manoos who you have turned into a kind of experimental guinea pigs in the political laboratory. What kind of wishy-washy, spineless, sloppy fellows are you! Sorry, Mr Shiv Sainik, the nation did not want an apology from SRK – far from it. They just want good, edge-of-the-seat cricket. And the nation showed what they think of your fading leader by making SRK’s film the biggest grosser in Bollywood. What Rahul G gave you gentlemen was a resounding slap-in-the-face by doing what your leader has never done – Rahul mingled freely with the ordinary manoos in Bombay. Sachin endeared himself to the whole country by proclaiming that he was an Indian first. As for Mukesh Ambani, please await the next chapter.

Now let me tell you why we are an angry lot. Your creaky gramophone record about Marathi pride being hurt has ceased to convince us any more. During your current tenure at the BMC, 35 Marathi municipal schools were shut down. Is this your idea of pride? Rahul Bose (I don’t think you gentlemen have even heard of him) in a recent TV interview gave statistics to show that Bombay has already lost out to Delhi in virtually every department of administration. Forget Delhi, it is losing out to Ahmedabad and Hyderabad. Is this your idea of pride?

And your flip-flop about allowing the Australians to play in Bombay has many of us in splits. If you are against immigrants, surely you should be supporting racism in Australia! And if you are protesting racism in Oz, does it mean that you have had a change of heart about the North Indians? Is this pride, or total Alzeimeric confusion? Yes, we are angry at your threats to paralyse Bombay at the drop of a sparrow’s droppings. And, more important, we are angry at your wanton destruction of public property. Your loss at successive elections is enough proof of the adage “You can fool some of the people all the time, or all the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all the people all of the time.”

Now let me tell you why some countries are great and the others are not. This will perhaps appeal to you, if you have progressed beyond high school. You have probably heard of a country called USA – it is the most powerful nation in the world today. It is so because of the way it allows the human potential to flower and flourish. Leaders – in politics and in business - in the US come from all parts of the world. If you ever were an avid newspaper reader (real newspapers, not the Saamna variety) you will recall that there was a man called Henry Kissinger. He was a German refugee from the Holocaust, and he became Secretary of State. That Mrs Indira Gandhi gave him a bloody nose during the ’71 war is another story. But let me give you an example that you would probably relate to better. You surely have seen Arnold Schwarzenegger’s films. He flexes his biceps and can put Salman K to shame – iconic and breath-taking stuff for your stone-throwing, public property-destroying foot-soldiers. He migrated from Austria about 40 years ago determined to make it big in the US. Arnold is presently Governor of California. And there are several Indians in Obama’s (he happens to be the President of the US) administration, including a few Marathi manoos (No, Please, Al Gore is NOT a Marathi manoos). And their contribution to American society and economy is just enormous.

The point I am making is simply this: you can throw out the ‘outsiders’ only at your economic peril. All along you have been talking only about job reservations. Have you ever given a thought to job creation? Have you ever wondered why very, very few Marathi manoos make it to the IFS, IAS, IRS and the higher echelons of the armed forces? It’s now high time you gave a thought to that, AND DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

Now try to picture this. Bombay accounts for about 35% of the income tax collections of the country. This you probably know. What you probably do not know is that companies pay income tax in the city where their registered offices are situated. Now just imagine - and please try to do so seriously because we are not talking kaanda bhajiya but real big mega stuff – what would happen if the big 3 suddenly decided to shift their registered offices to Baroda, or Bangalore, or Delhi? Do you recall the downfall of Calcutta when Charu Mazumdar and his naxalite thugs ran amok there? And the ruins of Uganda when Big Boy Idi Amin threw out the Indians? In economic terms it’s called flight of capital. The Tatas called Mamta didi’s bluff and shifted the Nano project lock, stock and barrel to Gujarat. That left Bengal gasping for breath. Mukesh Ambani is already talking of shifting his registered office to Jamnagar . . . I leave the rest to your imagination.

And have you ever thought what would happen to Bombay if the film industry, what Bombay is really synonymous with, decided to move to Noida?

Sorry for being harsh on you, dear Mr SS, but I am just a Stupid Common Man letting off steam against your apathy, utter lack of vision and foresight, and utter lack of concern for us.

Now let’s see what you gentlemen CAN do. You are controlling the BMC for the moment. And I say for the moment because I see the Rahul G tsunami in the distant horizon fast approaching Matoshree. SO IT’S TIME YOU DID SOMETHING FOR BOMBAY! You have until 2012. Merely changing names of cities and roads and monuments, and creating an identity crisis for everybody, will not help. I’ve never heard you gentlemen talk of
• Urban planning
• eliminating corruption, especially in the BMC that you presently control,
• giving us good roads and footpaths,
• parks and gardens,
• upgraded municipal hospitals and schools,
• uninterrupted water and electricity.
All that I’ve heard is the tinkling of shattered glass panes of the IBN Lokmat office, cinema theatres and of bhaiyya-owned taxis.

And you gentlemen have woken up to the existence of Vidarbha only when they started demanding a separate state. It just boils down to plain neglect; so much for your oft-touted Marathi pride. This polemics has ensured your survival, but it has not taken you very far. In fact, when the obituary of the Shiv Sena is written what will be remembered will not be the flyovers you built, but:
• Bashing up south Indians
• Bashing up north Indians
• Digging up cricket pitches
• Damaging the only world cup trophy brought in by Kapil’s Devils
• Enron-Dabhol scandal
• Michael Jackson fund-raiser and the funds that disappeared
• Miandad-Supremo camaraderie
• Flight of capital and business (Hope you read ET. There must be a Marathi version)

But there is hope for you yet. Start talking economics and you may just survive the Rahul Gandhi tsunami. But above all, please read Rajdeep’s mail. If you survive you will have Rajdeep Sardesai to thank.

Yours angrily,

Stupid Common Man

Friday, December 25, 2009

Public Life - BMC - Whither accountability?

Of all the depressing news going around from the shamelessly smirking DGP S.S. Rathore (a disgrace to humanity and to his uniform) to Shibu Soren auctioning himself to the highest bidder to the Telangana agitation to a governor allegedly caught in a sex scandal, let me initiate – hopefully - a discussion on issues at our doorstep and in our own backyard. I am referring to the BMC.

We read in the papers a few days ago that the Bombay High Court ordered the razing of 17 floors – illegally constructed - of Gagan Gaurav building in the suburb of Kandivli. It was built by Ravi Real Estate Developers [Incidentally, it’s ironical how these guys call themselves ‘developers’]. I read this news with mixed emotions.

Firstly, THREE CHEERS to the Bombay High Court for sending a clear message that illegal constructions will neither be tolerated nor regularised, and for recognising that indiscriminate regularization can have disastrous consequences. Not a moment too soon, I’d say.

Next, SYMPATHY & TEARS for those who had bought the flats in this building. The life savings of many have come to naught, not to speak of the huge burden on those who had availed of housing loans to buy these flats.

Finally, JEERS, BRICKBATS & BOOES for the Municipal Corporation that turned a blind eye to the illegal additions to the sanctioned floor area. The newspapers tell us that the BMC had sanctioned stilt plus seven floors in January 1992. However, during a “routine inspection” in 1997 (a good 5 years later, mind you – these guys are ever soooo busy!) the BMC officers “discovered” that the builders had constructed 24 floors!

Now what I’d like to know is, don’t these BMC officers take rounds to see what is happening? Were these 17 illegal floors so utterly cloaked in invisibility that the officers could not notice this? If you were to so much as put an awning on your balcony you will have these leeches at your doorstep. But 17 illegal floors was something that these fellows did not see, until 5 years later! And why did they wake up 5 years later? Yes, your first guess is probably the right answer.

Gagan Gaurav is not an isolated case. In March 2009, according to the DNA of this December 22, an entire illegal 7-floor wing of Bharat Nagar GHS at Chembur was demolished. Way back in 1996, 8 illegal floors of Pratibha building on Breach Candy were demolished. But this is just a miniature sample of what plagues Bombay. Scratch the surface and you will find that perhaps half the buildings of Bombay are illegal. But are these demolished? Oh no, they are regularized. And why are these not demolished? Again, your first guess is probably the right answer.

Yes, I do agree that as a buyer I should verify the title deeds and all the permissions obtained from the municipal authorities. But then . . . Call me naïve, but I have EXPECTATIONS from the government. I do EXPECT that a corporation functioning under the Government will be vigilant enough to ensure that a builder delivers according to the letter of the law, and in conformity with the permissions granted. And if he does not so deliver, I EXPECT the government or its bodies to come down heavily on the builder – immediately, NOT 10 YEARS LATER! I have never heard or read of such utter fraud and treachery perpetrated upon a buyer in Dubai or London, that too in direct connivance with the local government! I mean, if a passport or a driving license is issued to me I would naturally assume that it was legally issued by a person duly authorized to do so. Call me naïve, BUT I DO HAVE EXPECTATIONS FROM THE GOVERNMENT and government agencies. So, in my view, the responsibility for this open mis-governance lies squarely at the doorstep of the BMC. Multiply this news item a thousand-fold, and you have the true colours of the BMC, and a scam of epic proportions.

So what’s my take on this? Quite simply, it is this:

• File a case against the builder in the civil and criminal courts by the affected parties
• Demand compensation with interest from this rogue
• Run a systematic FB and Twitter campaign highlighting this builder
• Find out through the RTI Act why 17 illegal floors were allowed to come up
• Ask why the Corporator did not act
• Find out which Department of the BMC was responsible
• Identify the officers of the BMC responsible for this fraud
• Initiate a departmental enquiry under the relevant Conduct Rules against them
• File cases against these BMC officers in the civil and criminal courts
• Pressurise the Income Tax Deptt to scrutinize their cases

In short, MAKE THESE GUYS IN THE BMC ACCOUNTABLE. Set the ball rolling. Ask questions. And, above all, demand answers.

Cheers and Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

GAFOOR’S GAFFES

The knives are out for Hasan Gafoor, former Police Commissioner of Bombay. The ostensible reason is his off-the-record interview where he castigated 4 senior IPS Officers for shirking their responsibility during the 26/11 attack on Bombay.
Mr Gafoor had it coming, and I shall tell you why.

But first, a brief mention about how secure we feel in Bombay. I don’t know about you, but frankly, I feel safe. However, that feeling of security is borne more out of faith in God than an inherent confidence in our police. My confidence is further eroded when I read the strong accusations of incompetence, inefficiency and even conspiracy levelled against the Bombay Police by Mrs. Hemant Karkare and Mrs Ashok Kamte, wives of the killed IPS Officers. I mean, if IPS wives do not have faith in the police force, what about we ordinary folks? Hardly ever has the morale of the Bombay Police, once rated as the best in the country, been so low. Bombay has seen many Police Commissioners – a few were brilliant, some were average, some less than that, a few were the Page 3 butterfly-types, and one or two outright crooks. But never have the Bombay Police been made so much of a laughing stock as now. Mr Julio Ribeiro was the last of the icons – straight-talking, no-nonsense, leading from the front with an I-give-a-bloody-damn-to-the-politicians attitude. Nobody has come anywhere near him, so far. A shame and a pity, for it reflects poorly on the political leadership.

In a face-saving exercise CM Ashok Chavan joined by former DG of Punjab Police Mr KPS Gill grandiosely said the other day that the police are a disciplined force. Pardon me, gentlemen, but this is a view held only by you two! Nobody else, least of all any policeman, anywhere in the country has said so. In the present context it is as laughable as saying that the IT Department will bring Koda and his crores to book! Incidentally, Mr Gill is immortalized not only for his role in tackling extremism in the Punjab but also for supposedly having pinched the bottom of a senior lady IAS officer. He bit off more than he could chew, for the “pinchee” took the pincher right upto the Supreme Court which substantially said that he was guilty of focussing his attention and fingers on the posterior of the lady.

But to come back to Gafoor’s Gaffe. After the stink hit the ceiling Mr Gafoor first denied having said anything bad about the 4 officers, only to admit a few days later that he did say it but that it was in a private conversation off the record. Now, now, wait a minute, Gafoor sa’ab. After 35 years in the IPS, surely you should know that there is no such thing as “off the record”! Politicians can say anything, and get away with it because nobody takes them seriously in any case. But NOT you! And if what you say is true, Mr Gafoor, why did you wait for a whole year to say it? And again, if what you say is true, Mr Gafoor, why have you not taken any action against the 4 Officers for dereliction of duty?

Surely you know that Rule 3(1) of the Central Civil Services (Conduct) Rules says that every Government servant shall at all times maintain absolute integrity, devotion to duty and do nothing which is unbecoming of a Government servant! And if you failed or forgot to take action against them then for violating Rule 3(1), why don’t you do so now?

The aggrieved officers have threatened to take their erstwhile boss to court for defamation, the CM and the Home Minister have certified that the wounded 4 are actually good lads, and one senior officer with a reputation for uprightness threatened to resign if the Government did not back him. What a joke! It is this demoralization and division in the ranks that makes us feel downright insecure. In fact CM Ashok Chavan must ask Mr Gafoor to explain why he treated the alleged dereliction of duty by the 4 officers so casually. Rule 3(2) of the above Rules says that every Government servant shall take all possible steps to ensure the integrity and devotion to duty of all Government servants under his control and authority. Clearly Mr Gafoor has failed in this task.

Now, I grant that most senior Government officers have abysmally failed in this task and have habitually violated Rule 3(2). But when one desists from taking action under the Conduct Rules while at the same time despairing and bemoaning the lack of devotion to duty, it is a different thing altogether. That’s why I say that Mr Gafoor had it coming. Gafoor failed to crack the whip when he should have.

Actually, I feel sorry for Mr Gafoor and his Hamlet-esque inaction, so let me say something in his defence. The CM and the HM have threatened Mr Gafoor with a major penalty, not for not taking action against his subordinates for alleged dereliction of duty but for giving an interview. This is another joke! Demotion and dismissal from service are some of the major penalties, neither of which can be invoked for shooting off the mouth. The foot-in-mouth disease does not call for a major penalty, unless confidential documents or state secrets have been leaked. At worst, Mr Gafoor can be censured - a minor penalty - for giving an interview without prior approval.

I have a suggestion to offer Mr Gafoor. He should start penning his memoirs before 26/11 fades into the misty haze of history. As for the dispensers of jokes in Mantralaya, they should seriously prepare a succession line of Ribeiro-like Commissioners who will turn us ordinary folks into Believers – not only in the Almighty but also in the Bombay Police.

Cheers, and have a safe New Year!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Nathuram Godse - Hero or Hamlet

A friend mailed me the extract from Godse’s defence speech, which is available on Google. I have read it with great interest because I tried to fathom from Godse’s address whether there was any rational basis for his hatred for Gandhi. I must confess I got nowhere.

What was the freedom and the “just interests” of some thirty crore Hindus that Godse was trying to safeguard that were not already there? From the little that I have read of India’s economic history the Hindus were clearly more prosperous and better educated than the Muslims. Where (meaning in what journal or speech) did Gandhi dub Ram, Krishna and Arjun as “guilty” of violence? Similarly, where did Gandhi condemn Shivaji, Rana Pratap and Guru Gobind Singh as misguided patriots?

I really would like to know this from an academic perspective because we need to get our history right - not just a biased view trotted out for decades, but a detached vision of what happened.

I seriously doubt if Gandhi considered himself “infallible”. Time and again he swayed from one point of view to another depending upon the circumstances and the reasons put forward by the protagonists. In fact, Gandhi himself was quick to admit that he was wrong when another better point of view was put across. One could at times call Gandhi wishy-washy, but infallible? I seriously doubt that. On the contrary, Godse established his own twisted sense of “infallibility” by doing the ultimate act of a person who thinks he can never be wrong – he simply shot the person he disagreed with.

By grudgingly admitting that “Either Congress had tosurrender its will to his and had to be content with playing secondfiddle to all his eccentricity, whimsicality, metaphysics andprimitive vision, or it had to carry on without him”, Godse acknowledges Gandhi’s towering leadership. Need one say more? And what kind of a leader is one who does not show the way? Gandhi did, and millions followed. Not many takers for Godse’s thoughts, I must add.

Godse’s diatribe against Hindustani is again as irrational as his dislike for Gandhi. It is said that Sanskrit and Latin are amongst the very few core languages. All other languages are mere derivatives. Indeed, the way a language is spoken undergoes a change every few kilometres. The Arabic spoken in Morocco is different from that spoken in Dubai. The Marathi spoken is Poona is different from what is spoken in Nagpur and Bombay. And English is not the same in England, the US, Canada and Australia. So one really does not know what Godse’s problem with Hindustani was, which is a mix of Urdu and Hindi. Urdu is a mish-mash of Persian-Arabic and Hindi. Hindi itself is far removed from its ancestor Sanskrit. So what really is Godse’s objection? That Gandhi was a communicator par excellence? Besides, do we ourselves talk any pure language today? And what would he have said to the fact that we are communicating today in English! A big question-mark on Godse’s beliefs.

Just about the only thing that I can agree with Godse is when he says that Gandhi “was the master brain guiding the civil disobedience movement; no other could know the technique of that movement. He alone knew when to begin and when to withdraw it”. Now, I cannot make out from his defence speech what Godse had against the civil disobedience movement. Did Godse and Co. have any means to wrench independence by violent means? Did he even try to secure independence, like Bhagat Singh, Rana Pratap and the others did? Hollow beliefs, I must say. But he had the courage to rain bullets on the one person he knew would ‘turn the other cheek’ and not retaliate. Bravo, Mr. Godse!

The civil disobedience movement was unique in history. It attained its objective with the minimum loss of lives and property. It was successfully implemented by Mandela and to a great extent by Martin Luther King.

Now let us look at the flip side. Other colonies attained independence too, through violence – Algeria and Viet Nam from the French, Congo from Belgium, Angola from Portugal, etc. The cost? Enormous, both in terms of lives and material. Can one give any example of any freedom fighter from these countries being accorded a welcome by cheering crowds in the colonial country PRIOR to independence? Gandhi was welcomed so in England, particularly in Liverpool – not by the few Indians residing there but by hordes of Englishmen. Was Godse envious of Gandhi’s steamrolling popularity? Maybe, maybe not. England, I believe, is India’s biggest trading partner. Wonder what Godse would have had to say about that!

It has become fashionable to run down Gandhi. Not surprising, for as an icon he towered far above the rest despite his five-foot nothing frame; and to bring down an icon gives us great satisfaction. Mr. Khosla’s observations that an open trial would have fetched the judgment of “Not Guilty” is neither here nor there. I simply cannot understand how Mr. Khosla says so. Godse shot Gandhi in broad daylight in a public prayer meeting, and the assassination was witnessed by the scores of people present. Above all and most important, Godse – like Pravin Mahajan now - made no attempt to shirk off his act. Godse was not a common criminal, but a highly motivated individual who did what he did for his beliefs, parochial and skewed as they may have been. In fact, it brings the judge Mr. Khosla to disrepute for not having had the moral courage to hold Godse “Not Guilty”, if he thought so.

As for Godse, he will enjoy the same status as John Wilkes Booth – the assassin of Abraham Lincoln – did: as a footnote in history.

Deepak Tralshawala




" "Gandhiji Assassin Nathuram Godse's Final Address to the Court

Nathuram Godse was arrested immediately after he assassinatedGandhiji, based on a F. I. R. filed by Nandlal Mehta at the TughlakRoad Police staton at Delhi . The trial, which was held in camera,began on 27th May 1948 and concluded on 10th February 1949. He wassentenced to death. An appeal to the Punjab High Court, then insession at Simla, did not find favour and the sentence was upheld. The statement that you are about to read is the last made by Godsebefore the Court on the 5th of May 1949. Such was the power andeloquence of this statement that one of the judges, G. D. Khosla,later wrote, "I have, however, no doubt that had the audience of thatday been constituted into a jury and entrusted with the task ofdeciding Godse's appeal, they would have brought a verdict of 'notGuilty' by an overwhelming majority".

WHY I KILLED GANDHI
Born in a devotional Brahmin family, I instinctively came to revereHindu religion, Hindu history and Hindu culture. I had, therefore,been intensely proud of Hinduism as a whole. As I grew up I developeda tendency to free thinking unfettered by any superstitious allegianceto any isms, political or religious. That is why I worked actively forthe eradication of untouchability and the caste system based on birthalone. I openly joined anti-caste movements and maintained that allHindus were of equal status as to rights, social and religious andshould be considered high or low on merit alone and not through theaccident of birth in a particular caste or profession. I used publiclyto take part in organized anti-caste dinners in which thousands ofHindus, Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaisyas, Chamars and Bhangisparticipated. We broke the caste rules and dined in the company ofeach other. I have read the speeches and writings of Dadabhai Naoroji,Vivekanand, Gokhale, Tilak, along with the books of ancient and modernhistory of India and some prominent countries like England , France ,America and Russia . Moreover I studied the tenets of Socialism andMarxism. But above all I studied very closely whatever Veer Savarkarand Gandhiji had written and spoken, as to my mind these twoideologies have contributed more to the moulding of the thought andaction of the Indian people during the last thirty years or so, thanany other single factor has done.

All this reading and thinking led me to believe it was my first dutyto serve Hindudom and Hindus both as a patriot and as a world citizen.To secure the freedom and to safeguard the just interests of somethirty crores (300 million) of Hindus would automatically constitutethe freedom and the well-being of all India , one fifth of human race.This conviction led me naturally to devote myself to the HinduSanghtanist ideology and programme, which alone, I came to believe,could win and preserve the national independence of Hindustan , myMotherland, and enable her to render true service to humanity as well. Since the year 1920, that is, after the demise of Lokamanya Tilak,Gandhiji's influence in the Congress first increased and then becamesupreme. His activities for public awakening were phenomenal in theirintensity and were reinforced by the slogan of truth and non-violencewhich he paraded ostentatiously before the country. No sensible orenlightened person could object to those slogans. In fact there isnothing new or original in them. They are implicit in everyconstitutional public movement. But it is nothing but a mere dream ifyou imagine that the bulk of mankind is, or can ever become, capableof scrupulous adherence to these lofty principles in its normal lifefrom day to day. In fact, honour, duty and love of one's own kith and kin and countrymight often compel us to disregard non-violence and to use force. Icould never conceive that an armed resistance to an aggression isunjust. I would consider it a religious and moral duty to resist and,if possible, to overpower such an enemy by use of force. [In theRamayana] Rama killed Ravana in a tumultuous fight and relieved Sita..[In the Mahabharata], Krishna killed Kansa to end his wickedness; andArjuna had to fight and slay quite a number of his friends andrelations including the revered Bhishma because the latter was on theside of the aggressor. It is my firm belief that in dubbing Rama,Krishna and Arjuna as guilty of violence, the Mahatma betrayed a totalignorance of the springs of human action. In more recent history, itwas the heroic fight put up by Chhatrapati Shivaji that first checkedand eventually destroyed the Muslim tyranny in India. It wasabsolutely essentially for Shivaji to overpower and kill an aggressiveAfzal Khan, failing which he would have lost his own life. Incondemning history's towering warriors like Shivaji, Rana Pratap andGuru Gobind Singh as misguided patriots, Gandhiji has merely exposedhis self-conceit. He was, paradoxical as it may appear, a violentpacifist who brought untold calamities on the country in the name oftruth and non-violence, while Rana Pratap, Shivaji and the Guru willremain enshrined in the hearts of their countrymen for ever for thefreedom they brought to them.

The accumulating provocation of thirty-two years, culminating in hislast pro-Muslim fast, at last goaded me to the conclusion that theexistence of Gandhi should be brought to an end immediately. Gandhihad done very good in South Africa to uphold the rights and well-beingof the Indian community there. But when he finally returned to Indiahe developed a subjective mentality under which he alone was to be thefinal judge of what was right or wrong. If the country wanted hisleadership, it had to accept his infallibility; if it did not, hewould stand aloof from the Congress and carry on his own way. Againstsuch an attitude there can be no halfway house. Either Congress had tosurrender its will to his and had to be content with playing secondfiddle to all his eccentricity, whimsicality, metaphysics andprimitive vision, or it had to carry on without him. He alone was theJudge of everyone and every thing; he was the master brain guiding thecivil disobedience movement; no other could know the technique of thatmovement. He alone knew when to begin and when to withdraw it. Themovement might succeed or fail, it might bring untold disaster andpolitical reverses but that could make no difference to the Mahatma'sinfallibility. 'A Satyagrahi can never fail' was his formula fordeclaring his own infallibility and nobody except himself knew what aSatyagrahi is. Thus, the Mahatma became the judge and jury in his owncause. These childish insanities and obstinacies, coupled with a mostsevere austerity of life, ceaseless work and lofty character madeGandhi formidable and irresistible. Many people thought that hispolitics were irrational but they had either to withdraw from theCongress or place their intelligence at his feet to do with as heliked. In a position of such absolute irresponsibility Gandhi wasguilty of blunder after blunder, failure after failure, disaster afterdisaster.

Gandhi's pro-Muslim policy is blatantly in his perverseattitude on the question of the national language of India. It isquite obvious that Hindi has the most prior claim to be accepted asthe premier language. In the beginning of his career in India, Gandhigave a great impetus to Hindi but as he found that the Muslims did notlike it, he became a champion of what is called Hindustani. Everybodyin India knows that there is no language called Hindustani; it has nogrammar; it has no vocabulary. It is a mere dialect; it is spoken, butnot written. It is a bastard tongue and cross-breed between Hindi andUrdu, and not even the Mahatma's sophistry could make it popular. Butin his desire to please the Muslims he insisted that Hindustani aloneshould be the national language of India. His blind followers, ofcourse, supported him and the so-called hybrid language began to beused. The charm and purity of the Hindi language was to be prostituted toplease the Muslims. All his experiments were at the expense of theHindus. From August 1946 onwards the private armies of the MuslimLeague began a massacre of the Hindus. The then Viceroy, Lord Wavell,though distressed at what was happening, would not use his powersunder the Government of India Act of 1935 to prevent the rape, murderand arson. The Hindu blood began to flow from Bengal to Karachi withsome retaliation by the Hindus. The Interim Government formed inSeptember was sabotaged by its Muslim League members right from itsinception, but the more they became disloyal and treasonable to thegovernment of which they were a part, the greater was Gandhi'sinfatuation for them. Lord Wavell had to resign as he could not bringabout a settlement and he was succeeded by Lord Mountbatten. King Logwas followed by King Stork. The Congress which had boasted of itsnationalism and socialism secretly accepted Pakistan literally at thepoint of the bayonet and abjectly surrendered to Jinnah. India wasvivisected and one-third of the Indian territory became foreign landto us from August 15, 1947. Lord Mountbatten came to be described in Congress circles as thegreatest Viceroy and Governor-General this country ever had. Theofficial date for handing over power was fixed for June 30, 1948, butMountbatten with his ruthless surgery gave us a gift of vivisectedIndia ten months in advance. This is what Gandhi had achieved afterthirty years of undisputed dictatorship and this is what Congressparty calls 'freedom' and 'peaceful transfer of power'. TheHindu-Muslim unity bubble was finally burst and a theocratic state wasestablished with the consent of Nehru and his crowd and they havecalled 'freedom won by them with sacrifice' - whose sacrifice? Whentop leaders of Congress, with the consent of Gandhi, divided and torethe country - which we consider a deity of worship - my mind wasfilled with direful anger. One of the conditions imposed by Gandhi for his breaking of the fastunto death related to the mosques in Delhi occupied by the Hindurefugees. But when Hindus in Pakistan were subjected to violentattacks he did not so much as utter a single word to protest andcensure the Pakistan Government or the Muslims concerned. Gandhi wasshrewd enough to know that while undertaking a fast unto death, had heimposed for its break some condition on the Muslims in Pakistan ,there would have been found hardly any Muslims who could have shownsome grief if the fast had ended in his death. It was for this reasonthat he purposely avoided imposing any condition on the Muslims. Hewas fully aware of from the experience that Jinnah was not at allperturbed or influenced by his fast and the Muslim League hardlyattached any value to the inner voice of Gandhi. Gandhi is beingreferred to as the Father of the Nation. But if that is so, he hadfailed his paternal duty inasmuch as he has acted very treacherouslyto the nation by his consenting to the partitioning of it.

I stoutly maintain that Gandhi has failed in his duty. He has proved to be theFather of Pakistan. His inner-voice, his spiritual power and hisdoctrine of non-violence of which so much is made of, all crumbledbefore Jinnah's iron will and proved to be powerless. Brieflyspeaking, I thought to myself and foresaw I shall be totally ruined,and the only thing I could expect from the people would be nothing buthatred and that I shall have lost all my honour, even more valuablethan my life, if I were to kill Gandhiji. But at the same time I feltthat the Indian politics in the absence of Gandhiji would surely beproved practical, able to retaliate, and would be powerful with armedforces. No doubt, my own future would be totally ruined, but thenation would be saved from the inroads of Pakistan . People may evencall me and dub me as devoid of any sense or foolish, but the nationwould be free to follow the course founded on the reason which Iconsider to be necessary for sound nation-building. After having fullyconsidered the question, I took the final decision in the matter, butI did not speak about it to anyone whatsoever. I took courage in bothmy hands and I did fire the shots at Gandhiji on 30th January 1948, onthe prayer-grounds of Birla House. I do say that my shots were firedat the person whose policy and action had brought rack and ruin anddestruction to millions of Hindus. There was no legal machinery bywhich such an offender could be brought to book and for this reason Ifired those fatal shots. I bear no ill will towards anyone individually but I do say that I had no respect for the presentgovernment owing to their policy which was unfairly favourable towardsthe Muslims. But at the same time I could clearly see that the policywas entirely due to the presence of Gandhi.
sammy parekh " "

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

ELECTIONS? WHO CARES?

13th October, 2009

Hi Friends,

As I am having a late dinner I am watching the news channels. Times Now says that the voting in Gadchiroli was better than that in Mumbai. Look of abject resignation on Arnav Goswami’s face as he slips this on to us. I thought he would burst into tears.

Now, I really beg to present another point of view. For one, you just can’t compare Gadchiroli and Bombay, can you? It’s like comparing San Francisco and Jhumri Talaya – Gadchiroli being San Francisco.

For another, I just KNOW that EVERYBODY has expressed his view on the state of the country. Those who love the ruling party have voted for Continuity; others have voted for Change.

But an overwhelming majority have expressed their desire for Nirvana by just not wanting to stain their fingers with some dirty purple ink that refuses to wash. They stayed away.

And it is this overwhelming majority that I truly admire. Like the param yogis who seek salvation and inner peace through a rigorous masochistic exercise of inflicting unspeakable forms of torture on oneself – like sleeping on a bed of nails or standing on one leg like a stork for days on end - the Overwhelming Majority too seek solace and eternal bliss in the status quo.

Difficult though it may be, try to imagine the look of sheer ecstasy on their face as they breathe in the soothing fumes of overheated BEST buses, and the intoxicating aroma from the mounds of human and animal waste, the rotting garbage and the bio-waste from public hospitals – and you will understand why they don’t want change. Indeed, the Overwhelming Majority have solved the riddle of Life – it is just Maya.

So who cares if a score of farmers or two commit suicide in Vidarbha? Or if the Marathi manoos finally gets his due and a hundred fly-overs? Or if the Lord gives us our daily vada-pao? It is just Maya.

And this is what I truly admire about the Overwhelming Majority. With a packaged philosophy of thousands of years being rammed down our throats we have learnt to accept His presence in everything – even in the mountains of human waste and overflowing gutters. Look at our temples if you don’t believe me! Indeed, a few of the enlightened Overwhelming Majority told me with the utmost passion and sincerity that in the ordinary cockroach they see a superior form of Life, for only the cockroach can flourish in the slime and slush of drain pipes.

And so, if anyone asks me whether I voted, I will shrug my shoulders and, like Alfred Neuman of MAD magazine, will say: “What? Me worry?”

So Mr Goswami, please do not say that the Bombay-wallahs have not voted. They may not have gone to the polling booth, but they have almost unanimously expressed their collective wish - to be like the indestructible cockroach.

Cheers,

Deepak Tralshawala